Key events
13th over: India 40-0 (Jaiswal 27, KL Rahul 12) Tongue continues. There’s a vociferous appeal as Jaiswal misses a straight one but it looked to be shaping down the leg side. England fancy it though and send it upstairs. Gah. It pitched outside leg so is a complete non starter. Not England’s best review and they duly lose one. A sign of jitters perhaps and the need to get Jaiswal before he does some real damage. Case in point, the opener drives a full ball imperiously to the fence at long on.
12th over: India 36-0 (Jaiswal 23, KL Rahul 12) Bosh! Ravi Shastri emits a sonic boom on the tv commentary as KL Rahul unfurls a cover drive of such pristine beauty it’ll be hard to beat all Test long.
11th over: India 32-0 (Jaiswal 23, KL Rahul 8) Josh Tongue is summoned for his first bowl in the Test. Hello Gruesome! Jaiswal pings a half volley back past him and all along the baize for four. Tongue’s first over is a bit scruffy, starts with a full toss and and then gets away with a wide one as Jaiswal crunches a rasping cut straight to the man at point.
10th over: India 27-0 (Jaiswal 19, KL Rahul 8) Carse gets one to lift sharply and it thwacks Jaiswal in the intercostals. Don’t rub it. Don’t rub it.
“Morning, James!” Hello to you Duncan Bonnett. “Slightly chilly Johannesburg, but blue skies nonetheless. Surely your ‘Lacquer chat!’ should be ‘Lekker chat!’ in honour of the all-conquering Proteas? Just a thought.”
I stand corrected (said the man in the orthopaedic shoes)
9th over: India 26-0 (Jaiswal 19, KL Rahul 7) Woakes beats Jaiswal with a beauty that seams away late. Another maiden peeled off.
“Bravo on your opening post.” Too kind Leo Bajert.
“I’m sitting in a pub on Sydney where nobody cares and I want to run through a wall.”
Too hot for that sort of thing I reckon. Just go to the bar, get me one. It’s about 1000 degrees in the Headingley press box. I’ll be like Dean Jones in Chennai by mid afternoon at this rate. “Let’s get ourselves a Home Counties fella out here etc etc.”
8th over: India 26-0 (Jaiswal 19, KL Rahul 7) Carse stitches together a maiden, he’s ramping up his speeds too. Bling bouncing on his muscular chest a la DK Lillee.
7th over: India 26-0 (Jaiswal 19, KL Rahul 7) KL Rahul squirts a couple off the inside edge through square leg. The outfield is sun soaked and warp speed. Jaiswal is pinned on the pad but the appeal is muted as it was heading down leg.
Lacquer chat! The coating has come off the ball and it is now starting to hoop a little. Stand by your beds.
6th over: India 23-0 (Jaiswal 19, KL Rahul 4) Two boundaries off the over as Jaiswal slashes Carse through the off side either side of point. Not hugely convincing but they were there to be hit. “A good toss to lose” says Ravi Shastri. England will be getting twitch for a strike soon.
5th over: India 15-0 (Jaiswal 11, KL Rahul 4) Woakes probes away at Jaiswal. The ball is carrying through nicely off the biscuit coloured surface. More Nice than custard cream at the moment. Just a single off the over as the tv coverage shows the footage of Jaiswal getting out lbw to Woakes in one of the Lions games last week. Fair to say the young opener wasn’t happy with the decision even though it looked like it was knocking out leg stump, he practically had to be prised away from the crease. He’ll be even more annoyed should he miss out today in these conditions. Woakes will be looking to recreate the dismissal, pinning on the pad as the batter falls away. I’m looking for some water and a coffee. It all counts.
4th over: India 14-0 (Jaiswal 10, KL Rahul 4) Carse induces a tentative poke from Kl Rahul and the meaty edge flirts away for a four to deep third.
Good morning to Guy Hornsby:
“Morning James, the first morning of a blockbuster series in the English Test summer is always carrying that frisson of nerves and excitement. I can’t wait to watch it unfold, and today is a rare time to do that with my twin Dave, who’s over from Melbourne for a few weeks. I think the two attacks will be the key: England’s callow attack will need everyone to step up and Woakes to weave his magic, while India’s will be about supporting their world beating attack leader. This first Test is anyone’s, I think.”
3rd over: India 10-0 (Jaiswal 10, KL Rahul 0) Shot! Jaiswal plays a delicious high elbowed drive that pings through the covers for four. Woakes won’t mind that but it did look ominously solid. The batter collects two more into the off side to make it to double figures.
Headingley filling up nicely, the first few days are sold out. My three brothers are in the stands partaking of the local produce. The eldest texts to say he thinks Josh Tongue’s trousers are too short. That makes me think of my Glaswegian friend Jack who used to call this phenomenon ‘Budgies’. As in – “Has your budgie died? Why else are yer troosers at half mast?” It’s a bit of fun.
2nd over: India 4-0 (Jaiswal 4, KL Rahul 0) Brydon Carse to have his first bowl in a Test in England. He starts well too, there’s decent movement from his first ball and it jags off the pitch and past KL Rahul’s blade. These two openers are so dangerous and so lovely to watch once they get it. England will want some early scalps after inserting India. Carse starts with a maiden and is heartily applauded by players and fans alike.
1st over: India 4-0 (Jaiswal 4, KL Rahul 0) Chris Woakes to start with the new ball for England. Here he comes… and he’s right on the moolah to Jaiswal. The young opener is forward and plays a textbook forward defence.
There’s some bounce and movement on show for Woakes. He whistles a few past Jaiswal who opts to leave alone outside off stump. Plenty of cooing from the four strong cordon. Jaiswal plays with soft hands to a ball that leaves him late, the ball flies between fourth slip and backward point and away for four. That’s the first over of this ding-dong five match series done with. How was it for you?
The players are wearing black armbands because of the tragic plane crash in India last week. There’s also a minutes silence before the anthems are then belted out. Puff flash puff flash BANG! There’s then a succession of fireworks. Eight grand that cost. Play is imminent. Thanks for all your emails. Keep ‘em coming.
Here come the players! It really is perfect conditions for cricket. Flags fluttering gently in the Yorkshire breeze.
Well of course it scans Simon Ambrose:
“Have actually just read this out with “sunscreen” on in the background and it works! How long did you take on it?
Settling into the test with my “just done his GCSEs” son. He doesn’t get how a game can last 5 days. Welcome to school son.”
Ali Martin has got the skinny on teams bowling first at Headingley. Of course he does:
The weather at Headingley is set to be red hot and sets up a tricky toss. The old saying in these parts is to look up, not down – ie bat under clear skies, bowl under cloud cover – but there will surely be a temptation to go the other way. In recent times, the pitch has tended to improve as the match has progressed, with the past six Tests here won by the side that has bowled first.”
Ali also asked me if I was ok when I took my seat, sweatily, in the press box. I think he meant with regards the Bazzing preamble rather than the linen soaked precipitation. But what else are you supposed to do on a two hour train journey?
England captain Ben Stokes at the toss:
“We’re going to have a bowl. Headingley is generally a good cricket wicket, we have had some good games here over the years so we will look to use the early conditions and get a bit out of it.
“This has been a long time coming, it feels strange that this is only the second Test match of the year. We are all excited and ready to go and walk out together.
“Our build-up has been mixed – we have had some lads playing county cricket, some getting their bodies ready. We have had three days of preparation so we are raring to go.
“We have the usual suspects in the top seven. Our bowling line-up is Woakes, Carse, Tongue, Bashir and myself.”
England win the toss and choose to bowl first
Ben Stokes flies in the face of conventional wisdom as is his wont. England will bowl fist under azure blue skies in Headingley. However, Shubman Gill says he would have chosen to bowl first too. Let the gamesmanship begin.
Here are the teams:
England: Zak Crawley, Ben Duckett, Ollie Pope, Joe Root, Harry Brook, Ben Stokes (c), Jamie Smith (wk), Chris Woakes, Brydon Carse, Josh Tongue, Shoaib Bashir
India: Yashasvi Jaiswal, KL Rahul, Sai Sudharsan, Shubman Gill (c), Rishabh Pant (wk), Karun Nair, Ravindra Jadeja, Shardul Thakur, Jasprit Bumrah, Mohammed Siraj, Prasidh Krishna
We knew England’s XI of course. Here’s Gill looking resplendent in his blue blazer, with news of a debutant. “Great day, the sun is out and it looks a good batting day for us. Preparation has been amazing, I think all the boys are feeling in a good space mentally and physically. Sai Sudharsan comes in for his debut. He’s batting at No 3.”
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ‘22
James Wallace
(With apologies to Baz Lurhmann… and Baz McCullum)
Wear suncream. If I could offer you only one tip for the next few days, suncream would be it. The long term benefits of suncream have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience on the phenomenon some people call BazBall (and some people don’t.) I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of this England Test side. Seriously. You will not see a team like this again. FACT.
Trust me, in twenty years you’ll look back at Ben Stokes and his crew and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much of a shot in the arm they’ve provided to Test cricket and to your viewing pleasure. How fabulous, exciting and yes, maddening they really were.
Don’t worry about the future; Australia. The Ashes. The Urn. Or, do worry about Pat Cummins bowling one of those impossibly jagging bail trimmers to Joe Root in December but know that worrying is as effective as trying to learn Mandarin by downing Guinness. The real troubles right now are Jasprit Bumrah, stuttering and scudding, blitzing away Zak Crawley’s Teflon coating like a bullwhip power hose before the Western Terrace have even had their first slip of Tetley’s. The strains of Jerusalem still wafting over Cardigan Lane.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Reverse-Ramp.
Don’t be reckless with your young spinner; make him feel twelve feet tall despite his county record. Don’t bring mid-on up even when Rishabh Pant is going tonto.
Scoop.
Don’t waste your time on the naysayers, the doubters ‘the media agenda’, sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. Sometimes you’ll declare a bit prematurely, sometimes you’ll collapse in a stinking heap. The race is long, but the summer is short. Five Test’s in seven weeks. You’re entertainers. No more draws. But actually, maybe the odd draw? Only if you really need to, honestly, they’re not so bad.
Remember to be where your feet are. Head to the danger. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your vice-captain at number three. Put Jacob Bethell on ice until you need him.
Stay humble.
Don’t let Ben Duckett do too much press. Maybe Yashasvi Jaiswal isn’t indebted or inspired by the way you play. Maybe he’s on his own remarkable journey. Be smart. Reign it in a bit. Learn from those mistakes, the ones that got away. Edgbaston, Wellington, The Oval. Hamilton.
Wear your bucket hats. Fine. But don’t bring back ‘The Sprinkler’.
Say a prayer for Ben Stokes’ knees. And his hamstrings. We’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe this mad lot will go down in history, maybe they won’t
Maybe they’ll win the Ashes, they probably won’t
Maybe they’ll keep going until 2030, that’d be fun.
Maybe Jack Leach will come back and dive head first into another boundary hoarding? Maybe Chris Woakes will get the kudos he deserves?
Maybe Mark Wood will bowl rockets and Jofra will be back for Lord’s.
Keep your field placings funky. Your choices are half chance; so are everybody else’s.
Don’t be afraid of pensioning off your record breaking fast bowler. He was the greatest instrument you’ll ever have but maybe the time was right.
Switch bails. But only when you really need to. (Ask Stuart)
Read the riot act, occasionally you might have to.
Understand that teammates come and go, Alex Lees, Moeen Ali, Matthew Potts, Jonny Bairstow, Will Jacks, Rehan Ahmed, Liam Livingstone, Tom Hartley. They’ve all played a part.
Remember Trent Bridge – ‘Don’t you dare try and hit one down’
Remember Rawalpindi, Hyderabad and Old Trafford before the rain.
God they were good.
Accept certain inalienable truths, Ollie Pope will start skittishly, he’ll also get a ton. Harry Brook will look a million dollars but find a way to get out in the most inexplicably ugly fashion. Stokes will try and bowl eight on the bounce when his dander is up, don’t let him do this. Jamie Smith will launch one out of the ground. Brendon McCullum will sit on a balcony with shades on and trotters up. Inscrutable. Beard tapered as if he’s leading a Cinch sponsored Armada. People will talk about golf.
Don’t expect summers like this to come around forever. Changes are needed.
Maybe you’ll be thrilled. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll be glued to every ball or maybe you’ll dip in and out as life intervenes. You know it’ll be there though, humming away in the background, gripping you at times, leaving you in despair at others. Maybe you’re amazed at the way you need this.
Strap in, buckle up, most of all – enjoy the ride.
But trust me on the suncream. (slip, slap, slop).
Hello and welcome to the first Test match between England and India from Headingley. I’ve just disembarked from the Iron horse at Leeds station and am on the way to the ground. Play begins at 11am and the coin will be flipped at about 10.30am. Please do get in touch if you are tuning in. It promises to be a scorcher, in more ways than one.
